RAD Kids and Behavior
Behavior modification for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder is very different than that of traditional behavior modification. The one thing that I have found to work with these kids is giving them options and having lots of patience.
When one of my foster children moved in,I asked him what he needed to be happy. He said without hesitation “Chocolate milk and ice cream” For the next 7 months he drank about 2 gallons of chocolate milk and about a gallon of ice cream every week. This was the first time he was given some type of control of what he can eat and the amount he wanted.
I remember the day that we went to the grocery store and I told him to go get his chocolate milk and he said ” Dad, I think I’m done with that.”
He was given control and he was allowed to fill the need for as long as he needed. Not every child needs chocolate milk and ice cream to be happy. Although wouldn’t it be nice if life was that simple. Parents should find out what their RAD kid needs to be happy and if possible allow the child that want/need.
Another on of my foster children would tantrum for hours. A seven hour tantrum was not uncommon. Behaviors during the tantrums included biting, kicking, spitting,swearing, throwing shoes and any other object he could get his hands on. He also would break his toys but he would only break the toys that I had given him. This is one of the ways he tried to break or destroy the relationship that he had built. After about a year he began changing. The tantrums slowly began to diminish both in intensity and duration. He slowly stopped breaking the gifts that I had given him and he began telling me some of his pain.
Just have patience.
Patience is the most important. Kids with Reactive Attachment will try the patience of everyone. They are experts when it comes to getting people mad at them. This is often the only way they know how to keep everyone away. The thing to remember is that these kids often will form attachments quickly and will also do behaviors to destroy these attachments. For a parent with a RAD kid they need unbelievable amounts of patience. A child who has RAD has the unique ability to test the patience of the most dedicated parent.
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Read your post with interest. I have a son who is similar. He has been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and ODD among other things. How do you deal with the tantrums? Mine has never done a 7 hour tantrum but when he has one it seems to set him on edge so subsequent tantrums start coming closer together.