My RAD Kids!

April 27, 2009 · Posted in RAD Kids

After working with kids in a variety of settings for the past 25 years I left the rat race and opened my home to kids. I have four teenage boys all with the diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder.

All the boys have been in multiple foster homes, and both pre-adoptive and adoptive homes. Each time they were given back. They have been in placements, including residential programs, (short term and long term), and of course psychiatric hospitals for their “out of control behavior.”

These kids have on average have been in 17 different homes in their lives (I have two 12 year olds and two 14 year olds). That’s more than one home per year. They all have significant learning disabilities. Does anyone wonder why? They have never completed a school year in one place…with the exception of the time they spent in the “residential treatment facilities”

I could talk about each one of the boys forever, both about their success in school, in life, or when they were able to sleep through the night without waking up crying. The biggest fear they all have is that I will give them back to Department of Children and Families (DCF) formerly Department of Social Services (DSS). Their fears are endless and they all cope with these fears differently. One of the boys fights, puffs up his chest and threatens to “kick my ass”, another doesn’t eat, another isolates himself and wants to be the invisible child, and my last son wants to be held and make all the bad stuff and memories go way.

My home is not the typical foster home nor is it a pre-adoptive place, although it is possible for them to be adopted if that is what they want. There is no mother in the home. Each one of the boys has such huge mother issues that by eliminating the mother from the home half the battle is gone. For them mothers are not supposed to leave. Well I say neither are fathers. But, lastly the biggest difference about my home is that they are given choices. They can stay here as long as they want, they can choose to leave or stay.

Tags: RAD, Reactive Attachment Disorder